Restraint Collapse. What is it?
Many parents are surprised when behaviour worsens at the start of school holidays.
After all, the pressure is off.
There are no early mornings, packed lunches, or school-day demands.
But for many children — especially neurodivergent children — the end of the school year can trigger a delayed nervous system response.
When the Demands Stop, the Body Responds
Throughout the school term, children are often holding themselves together for long periods of time.
They are:
Following routines
Managing expectations
Navigating social demands
Coping with sensory input
When the school year ends and those demands suddenly stop, the body finally senses safety.
And when the body feels safe enough to rest, everything it has been holding in can surface.
Rest Doesn’t Always Look Calm
Nervous system rest isn’t always quiet or peaceful.
For many children, it can look like:
Tears
Meltdowns
Withdrawal
Big emotions
Increased need for comfort
This isn’t a sign that holidays are failing.
It’s a sign your child has been working incredibly hard.
A Nervous System Catching Up
What you’re seeing during the first days or weeks of holidays is often a nervous system catching up after months of sustained effort.
This response is common, valid, and deeply human — particularly for children whose brains and bodies are working overtime just to get through the school day.
Understanding this can help shift the question from:
“Why is this happening now?”
to:
“What does my child need as they recover?”
What Helps During the Transition
The transition into holidays is not the time for high expectations or packed schedules.
Children often need:
Lower demands
Predictable rhythms
Familiar activities
Extra connection
Support to regulate before they can relax
In upcoming posts, we’ll explore what actually helps during this transition — and why co-regulation is the foundation.
A Gentle Reminder
If behaviour feels bigger at the start of the holidays, you haven’t done anything wrong.
Your child isn’t falling apart.
Their nervous system is finally letting go.
And that deserves understanding, not pressure.
